The acts of self love.

iamangeldesmond 

What is self-love? Let's take a moment to really understand this question.

Many people have their perception of this type of love. Some say it's selfish, others say it's embracing one's true self. Some even call it individualistic. Well, for me, self-love is the act of being free. This experience, though scary and liberating (at the same time), is one of the most exciting feeling ever. Every other time we have to love someone else, care for someone else which is expected of us always and might sometimes disturb to our mental health. So it is important for us to reserve a portion (or a whole, in fact) of love for ourselves.

Before I knew what self love was and how important it is, I used to struggle with the acceptance and awareness of the true power that lay within me. Struggle with loving myself and understanding who I am. I will always attribute my personal love story to someone appearing in my life and teaching me how to do it, how to love me! Imagine!.. 

Maybe it was reading books that always talked about the shining prince showering me with love. Maybe it was low self-esteem. Whatever it was, it didn't do me any good because the hate was real! Now, knowing those beliefs I had, I am combating them with self-love. Oh, when I came across this word, I was amazed and almost terrified by the sheer power it possessed. To love me by myself, prioritise me, encourage me and develop me in ways I didn't even know was one of the best things I ever encountered! So today I am going to talk about it. 

The freeing experience of self-love is a must have but unused and unknown by many. 

SOME OF THE WAYS TO SHOW YOURSELF LOVE:

1.SELF-CARE

 

Picture: Alwaysstartwith

Self-care is one of main acts of self-love. It entails prioritising yourself above all else and always putting you first. I love this quote from @alwaysstartwith as it defines the true meaning of self-care. We often mistake it for sponsoring yourself on a trip, getting yourself a well-deserved lunch or a spa date amongst others but self-care isn't all these things (though they are comprised of it), no. Self-care goes beyond that. It is understanding what you need, when you need it, and how you need it.

I cannot stress enough the importance of engaging in activities that helps you priotize and love yourself more. Such things could be rest, meditation, a walk in a park or a stroll or even the things I mentioned before just anything that feels right to you remember it's "self". Some of my self-care activities are walking or taking a stroll with my favourite music playlist on, having freeing and jest filled conversations with friends, sleeping or resting and these are just a few activities which has helped me ground myself and stay sane and has also shown me deep parts of myself that I didn't even know.

2. HAVING THE RIGHT RELATIONSHIPS:

It took me a while to understand that my association with people in a way determines who I am. At this point in my life, I am very careful with whom and what I attach myself with and how I give out my energy. Some people around me now might notice that I usually have an "I don't care" attitude towards certain things now and that is because if it doesn't concern or help me, I don't have the energy for it. And the same goes for "friends". 

Having the right relationships means having the right people in your circle. People that motivate and push you to be the best version of yourself. People who have values aligned with yours or values you want to have. Always learn to decipher who is for you and who isn't and this is me saying cut people who ain't important to the 'you' you want to attain off! Don't patronise people and don't be patronised!! If it's not working don't dare push it. Try your best and leave the rest to God as they say. That's one thing I have learnt and I am so proud of. My relationship with God (the most important relationship of all) and my closest friends are so dear to me because they have proven time and time again to have my best interest at heart.

3. PRIORITISING YOUR GOALS:

Allowing your goals to come first is very important. However little they may be, it is quite a fulfilling experience to achieve the much you can. It gives you a sense of peace and helps to solidify your confidence in yourself and your skills. I have learnt that some ways to achieve this is by identifying them and making them as little as possible through daily/ weekly routine or to-do lists because having a lot can be quite overwhelming which I know from experience (lol). Do this every day and cross off the ones you've done.

Self-love is a journey. It isn't achieved in a day. Letting go of your baggages and choosing to love you is not something that happens overnight. It's a constant, intentional battle you have to fight everyday because obstacles to your happiness or attaining it is going to rise. Suicide rising (one of these obstacles) for instance, shouldn't be but it is because a lot of people are allowing things that are supposed to make their success story decide their fate. Life will keep throwing all it has at you so why not make lemonade?

What is self-love to you? Do you even know what it is? And if you do how has your journey been so far? Let me know in the comments loves! 

Thanks for reading today and see you next Wednesday!🥂